Home The table

Who runs it, and where

Meet the table

Pick a dungeon master, pick a room, pick how strict the rules are. A DM's face and a DM's voice are separate choices: six personas can sit behind any of the faces, and any persona can sit behind any face you build yourself.

The roster

Nine dungeon masters

Five have table sprites today, and every one of the nine has a face at the Cartographer's Desk. The four waiting on table sprites are shown with their desk portraits, because a face that exists should be shown.

  • Kaelen, a pixel-art dungeon master

    Kaelen

    A grey-bearded ranger who has clearly told this story before and is still pleased to be telling it. The only avatar currently rigged.

    Default voice: Warm Storyteller

  • Mira, a pixel-art dungeon master

    Mira

    A storyteller who leans in when you describe something well.

    Default voice: Warm Storyteller

  • Hana, a pixel-art dungeon master

    Hana

    Relentlessly cheerful, treats every player like the protagonist.

    Default voice: Warm Storyteller

  • Grix, a pixel-art dungeon master

    Grix

    A serene star-charting alien who has seen a thousand campaigns end and still takes notes.

    Default voice: Deadpan Archivist

  • Sir Stacks, a pixel-art dungeon master

    Sir Stacks

    A gelatinous cube wearing spectacles it does not anatomically require. Enthusiasm exceeds anatomy.

    Default voice: Excited Newcomer

  • Coach, a desk portrait: reading glasses and a battered rulebook

    Coach

    Reading glasses, a battered rulebook, and strong opinions about flanking.

    Desk portrait done · table sprite owed

  • Ashwood, a desk portrait: an elegant, theatrical high elf

    Ashwood

    Elegant, theatrical, and enjoying the doom rather too much.

    Desk portrait done · table sprite owed

  • UNIT-7, a desk portrait: a calm brushed-steel robot

    UNIT-7

    A calm chassis with a pleasant indicator light and dry timing.

    Desk portrait done · table sprite owed

  • Vale, a desk portrait: a small, horned, unimpressed imp

    Vale

    Small, horned, unimpressed, and extremely well-read.

    Desk portrait done · table sprite owed

  • Biscuit, a cat in a pot helmet

    Biscuit

    The Rumpus Room's own dungeon master. A cat in a pot helmet with a red feather, and a great deal to say.

    Comes with the Rumpus Room

The honest ledger. Every DM has a face at the desk. Five have table sprites, and the sprites for the other four, plus listening and talking states for all of them, are what the art budget is for. Every picture on this site is placeholder art made for the project; paying artists to replace it is the point of the planned campaign.

The voices

Six personas

A persona is how the DM talks, a face is how the DM looks, and the strictness dial from the how-it-works page is how the DM thinks. They are independent choices.

  • Warm Storyteller

    Encouraging, lyrical, generous with momentum.

    Pairs well with Casual, Creative

  • Gruff Wargamer

    Blunt, precise, secretly delighted by good tactics.

    Pairs well with Stringent, Creative

  • Excited Newcomer

    Infectious enthusiasm, celebrates absolutely everything.

    Pairs well with Casual, Creative

  • Deadpan Archivist

    Dry, meticulous, cites chapter and verse.

    Pairs well with Stringent

  • Theatrical Lich

    Melodramatic dark-fantasy master of ceremonies.

    Pairs well with Creative

  • Chill Robot

    Calm sci-fi steward with pleasant synthetic humour.

    Pairs well with Creative, Stringent

Where you sit

Eight rooms, and one builder

Every room is a scene of stacked, movable pieces rather than a painting, so the same table can be rebuilt and relit. Each is pictured here with the DM who calls it home.

The Rusted Tankard: a low-beamed common room with a hearth, Kaelen at the table.
The Rusted Tankard A low-beamed common room with a hearth that never quite goes out. Pictured with Kaelen.
The Moonlit Parlor: plum-dark panelling, an apothecary shelf glowing faintly pink, Hana at the table.
The Moonlit Parlor Plum-dark panelling, and a window stuck on twilight. Pictured with Hana.
The Observation Deck: a crystal chamber at the front of something enormous, Grix at the table.
The Observation Deck A crystal chamber, a blue world turning below. Pictured with Grix.
The Clockwork Stacks: a cavern library built around a gear-tower, Sir Stacks at the table.
The Clockwork Stacks A gear-tower keeping some centuries-old appointment. Pictured with Sir Stacks.
The Scriptorium: a vaulted limestone hall, afternoon through stained glass, Kaelen at the table.
The Scriptorium A vaulted hall where the afternoon comes in through stained glass. Pictured with Kaelen.
The Back Room: a folding table, shrink-wrapped boxes on three sides, Mira at the table.
The Back Room Folding table, shrink-wrapped boxes, a fluorescent hum. Pictured with Mira.
The Basement: pipes overhead, a string of lights, Kaelen at the table.
The Basement Pipes overhead, a string of lights, and the good chair. Pictured with Kaelen.
The Rumpus Room: beanbags, fairy lights, a retro TV, Biscuit at the table.
The Rumpus Room Beanbags, fairy lights, and a rug that has seen some campaigns. Pictured with Biscuit.
Built, in the game

The Scene Builder

Every room is authored from pieces in a builder that ships with the game. Drop in a PNG and it is auto-keyed and lit; order layers by drawing them; pin corners, animate, and compare two assets side by side. Rooms are files on your disk, so what you build is yours to keep.

Measured

Fast on modest hardware

The room engine was measured on an ordinary Intel laptop against a 60 fps bar: worst observed 72 fps with 500 items all moving, 76 fps at a thousand mixed, and 228 fps with 500 pieces morphing. The game draws the table your machine can carry, not the one a card wants.

Before the table

The Cartographer's Desk

The front of house is a desk, not a menu. Hand-lettered titles, brass and iron buttons, sixteen plates, firelight, and no page that scrolls. You set the table before you sit at it.

The main menu, drawn as a desk with a candle.
The main menu A candle, a desk, and the way in.
The desk card for The Rusted Tankard.
Room cards Every room shows its face before you choose it.
The desk card for Kaelen.
DM cards Nine portraits, so every avatar has a face at the desk.
The desk card for The Scriptorium.
Eight environments Each one a card on the desk.

Two original setting packs ship with the engine, The Vale of Embers and Drift Station Vey: a hidden gazetteer of places, factions and people that cohere before turn one and surface only when the story touches them.